Tuesday, August 26, 2008

TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday

You find a fairy. With a wave of their wand they can change anything for you.

What is the one thing you would change about your body? Saddlebags!!! Go away, stupid shitheads!

What is the one personality trait you would change? I'd be more 'bubbly'.

What is the one thing about your job you would change? The way it is either feast or famine - I'd make it normal all year long.

What is the one thing about your home you would change? Make it bigger so WAM would have her own section.

What is the one thing about your Significant Other you would change? More dominate in bed.

Who is the one person you would poof out of your life and why? It depends on my mood & time of my life, lol.

Who is the one person you would poof back in and why? My grandpas - I miss them. *Waves up in the air*

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

HNT - Well...

The Man's tests came back ok for his liver, but there's a polyp on his gall bladder...testing next week :) Yay - he can drink again!


Happy Hump Day!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The grass is greener where you water it.

My little doggy didn't want us to leave to go visit Vixen. :(

Oh man, what a week. I had all sorts of plans to do MM, TMI, HHD and Weird Wednesday (to be my first!) and then didn't make the time.

This past Monday was my first Monday back from taking Mondays off in July. (That was a lot of Mondays in that sentence!) That same afternoon after work, The Man got a call from his Dr about his blood results.

He has, for quite some time now, been feeling not so hot. But kept putting it off like most men do. Finally, I pretty much made him go. I was tired of him talking about it. He's never even had his cholesterol #s checked or anything and with his family history, I thought it about time to figure out his health.

Well, his liver enzymes are high. He had to go back the next day & draw more blood for hepatitis tests. He goes in this Saturday for a liver MRI/scan/whatever. We will hopefully find out the hepatitis results tomorrow.
And that's not even the cardiologist yet. His family heart history is horrible (grandpa died of a heart attack and all his uncles have had one) so he goes to that consultation visit on the 28th. He works out all the time and has no problem with it so I'm not sure if the stress test will reveal anything, but he complains about shortness of breath just doing normal things. I don't know...

Anyway - my absence is because The Man is not used to health issues regarding him. They are always me so this is throwing him for a loop. I haven't been Mother Henning him to death, but am by his side as a distraction (I remember when I went thru my cancer scare and how freaked out I got even tho I never thought I would react that way. I had pre-cancerous cells removed and that was enough!). To divert his mind when I see him start to ponder.

Biker Dude stopped by the liquor store to pick him up a liter of Pepsi and a 6-pk of O'Douls, lol.

I was supposed to go to that bachelorette party tomorrow night but am now skipping it. Originally because of no dinero, but now - even if I did, I'm not sure I would. I think he wants me to go with him and Saturday's appt is at 8am. Bleah! That will still be unpleasant with me waking up sober!

K - if you read this, I'm not sure what he told T, but he hasn't told anyone yet. Not even his parents or my mom. Seeing how T's mom saw my mom last night...could be out of the bag if T mentioned it to anyone else. You know how that works. LOL
In other random news, my boss is out of town so today & tomorrow are lax days. I have some new people starting Monday. The Season hath arrived! I hope they're not idiots. You'd be surprised at what I get.

"Ummm...SR...."says the 6'1 late twenties dude as he comes up to me in my office almost an hour late. I just looked up at him. He had just been warned about his tardiness and written up. He was so much not-more than this and we were looking for a legit reason to can his ass. He seemed to hem & haw and I just knew the lamest excuse was going to come out of that worthless smile.

I had no idea ~~~~>"Ummm...I had an accident on the way to work and had to pull over and, ummm...I don't know how to say this...uummmm...I, uh, had to pull over and throw my shorts away. *Ahem* And I just got here but had another...ummmm...accident. I need to go home." All I could say was ok but, inwardly, all I could register was that this grown adult (ha!) had just told me face to face that he shit his pants, not once, but twice. And as we spoke, had a shitload residing between said sorry ass.

Or the girl who called me to tell me wouldn't be coming in because she started her period and was 'bleeding all other the place' and while she could maybe try coming in, she doubted I wanted her 'red tide possibly pouring out everywhere.'

Can't people just tell me they have food poisoning (we all know what that means) or cramps (again, we all know what that means) or the flu or a headcold? I don't need to know details. I don't care about details! You're not here, you're not here.
/end rant & off to start laundry. Oh joy!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

HHD - I love the things that you aren't.

Hump Day, bitches!

I am still trying to play catch-up from returning from CO. It's hard when your work drive is so long. Oh well - mama needs new shoes *wink*. OK, well - mama needs to pay bills first so that she can get new shoes.

Speaking of long drives, this is when I do most of my thinking. I have nothing else to do so my brain relishes the 'come out & play' time in the late afternoon/early evening. (It's still half asleep in frog pajamas in the morning.) Sometimes, I think about bills or what The Man is doing or how much fun The Man is having while I sit in traffic. Others it is about something exciting coming up or choices I have to decide upon. But its favorite thing to do is just...think. About different perspectives. It makes the brain more active, I think. Like:

  • Everyone focuses on why they love something about someone. How about my title? I love The Man because he's not an asshole (for the most part), he's not a child-molester, he's not a wall-flower, he's not serious. But I like my job because it's not formal dress, it's not minimum wage, it doesn't have to deal with the public. Yay!

  • Have you ever thought about ice-skating...on the other side of the ice?

  • Isn't that a stupid saying about wanting your cake and eating it too? Why else would you want your cake?!

  • Why can't there be God and reincarnation and Karma and Mother Nature - all at the same time? Like, say you die and you get a choice! Do you want to go to Heaven or do you want come back as a dog or just hang out as a ghost?

  • We are ALL friendly with the skeletons in our closet whether we acknowledge it or not. The difference is that a few people hold the key, others throw it as far away as possible, and still, some of us never lock the damn thing in the first place.

  • Seriously, why aren't you having fun in life? As long as you aren't hurting someone else - what's the point of having the perfect body or hair or skin or digestive tract when it's just going to rot in a coffin anyway? Seriously.

  • I've realized that sometimes you have to be un-true to yourself in order to be kind to others. I'm ok with that. I can step down from my soapbox if it means making someone feel better that needs it.

  • Why do people freak out at cuss words? They are just words. Some guy made them up. I think (insert your higher Being here) cares more about the emotion behind the words. I tell Cerveza all the time, "I love you, you little fucker!" Am I going to Hell for that? Do I need to repent? I think not. What I think I need to ask forgiveness for is if I said to The Man, "You chair!" with all the hate in my words. With the intention of hurting his feelings. Think about it. Some dude came up with fucker and deemed it bad and now it's the worse word you can say - just because some person said so. What gave him the right? NOTHING!

Anyway - my alone time has ran out. Have a great Wednesday, you shitheads. :P

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday

1. What is your definition of romantic? Being selfless in an action towards someone else and focusing on their, & only their, desires.
2. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? Probably not. I think it, but I never follow thru.
3. Is your significant other romantic? Sometimes. But I can't complain unless I step it up too.
4. Have you ever chastised a SO for not being romantic enough or too romantic? No. I don't want to have to force them to be romantic because then it isn't.
5. What do you consider a grand romantic gesture? Have you ever been the recipient or giver of one? See #1. Something I remember that really caught my heart and I repeat this story all the time is this one time he gave me an anniversary card. It was all poofy, like something was in with the card. When I opened it up, there was a package of my FAVORITE brand of beef jerky that can be hard to find. He really took the time to do something that was ME, instead of using the old stand-by: flowers.
6. If you have done something romantic to get laid, did it work? If not, why and how did that affect your romantic tendencies in the past. No, I don't think being romantic is about getting laid. That would make it very un-romantic.
7. What is the most romantic thing you have ever done? Had done for you? I can't remember something I di. But see #5 for the other.

Monday, August 4, 2008


So. This is my story about our time with PC & Vixen.

When we were on our way to baggage claim, we were kidnapped and made to go thru Del Taco and forced to eat yummy food. It was really a traumatic experience, let me tell you! Vixen ripped open the green burrito wrapper and smashed it down my throat yelling, "Eat that, bitch!" and I had to swallow big chunks of food without chewing it properly. This caused my throat to swell and I could hardly talk. I think my larynx is permanently damaged...at least that is what my Dr told me.

They engaged the childproof system on the rear doors so we couldn't escape, because, believe me - I would have jumped out if I could even with the car going. I've done it before!

But anyway, they took us to their house and forced us to drink some beers with them. They were treating us nice and all, like family. The kids were all over us and laughing and wanting to hang out with us but then they had to go to bed. PC & Vixen made us stay up really late and then dragged us to the spare room where they threw us, and all of our shit, into and then locked the door! We had no choice but to go to bed. I didn't know whether to cry or not - I was just so confused but decided to snuggle down into the comfy bed and sleep bundled up in blankies, watching TV while I fell asleep. All nice and cool too.

In the morning, they banged on the door and demanded for us to come out. Vixen made some breakfast - I think it was like dogfood and chicken feed mixed up, I couldn't tell. Oh wait, I remember now. It was bacon and eggs. I can't tell sometimes.

Then they told us to go to the rehearsal with them. I bet if Vixen could have put a collar around my neck, she would have. She's so mean and told me where to walk and with what guy. I felt really uncomfortable with him too. Because you know that one incident that happened to me while I was in India - do you all remember that? I was really terrified. With my scarred larynx and all, I couldn't call for help so I just did what I was told because I was afraid. I don't think all the other people around us could have helped me. I'm not sure why, but I'm sure I can come up with something later. I'm good at that.

Then, she forced me to pick a room. Even tho I got first dibs, I'm positive it's out of maliciousness, but like I said, I couldn't do anything but what she wanted. So I smiled and laughed and accepted the room she had paid for.

Friday night we went to dinner. I didn't have a choice to go or not. I mean, there was food in the house and all and I could have stayed home, but they forced me to go and what was I to do!!?? We went and I met a bunch of family. I looked at the menu and found the most expensive food and drink on it and ordered it. What did I care - I wasn't paying for it?! Dinner was awesome & everyone else...wait, what's the word?...thanked (?) PC & Vixen. I'm not sure why though.

The wedding day was somewhat the same - me following her around and doing whatever she demanded. She asked me my opinions but still, I had no choice. She paid for everything! The ceremony was filled with all of their friends and I felt like an outcast even tho everyone treated me really nice & friendly. I think they did anyway...I'm not sure yet. Depending on who asks me later, I'll decide which it is. OK? OK.

Anyway - the weekend was fun and all. I had a great time there and they paid for everything and treated us awesomely but I still feel...I dunno. Like we were pets or something. Do you understand what I mean? Don't you think so too? I mean, after reading all that I wrote?

Awww...lookee all the little birdies! Reality bites those that lie about it. Obviously, this only makes sense to a few people. It's a little wedding present I promised her. The truth of the matter is that we had an awesome time, like normal people. It was great meeting and hanging out and getting drunk with Os and the rest of their friends. I miss them all already. I can't really post a lot of pix because there are faces of people who did not consent - you will have to see most of them on her site when she puts them up.

You don't understand how HOT it was when we were trying to do this. The power went off at the B&B earlier and the A/C never had a chance to catch up. I swear it was over 110 in here!
The Man has no shame. Yes, he is 'smackin' dat ass' there. And yes, his shirt is part of the plan. I'm not married to gigolo. I swear!



I am downloading all the pictures now, so there will be a separate post with all the pix later.

First of all, the weekend was soooo much fun!!! We had a such a good time with Vixen & PC (not that I would have expected anything different, but they were getting married in 2 days!!). I loved seeing the animals again & meeting all the new ones and certainly, seeing the kids again - and meeting the new ones *snort*.

I can't believe what a little woman her daughter is. I love her to death, but I always have even when she was a teeny non-talking baby. And her son is a cutie pie (although at one point, he stayed in his room awhile because 'he was mad at *insert my name here*' because of something he did that wasn't very nice and I called him on it when Vix wasn't around and he didn't like it. *snort**snort*. It was short lived and he was back to his happy little self in no time.) who just seems to love life :) I also had the pleasure of meeting PC's son who is equally cute and quite the gentleman with a gentle soul as well. They were all very well behaved and a treat to be around.

I think we brought the heat with us tho. On Friday, it was 105 and a little muggy. Just like at home - I didn't feel like I had left So Cal, lol.

The ceremony was beautiful. I can't really say a lot without the pictures so I will save all that until then.

Yesterday, there were some thunderstorms and I remember Vix saying in the past that they shut down the airport when that happens, but was just hoping it wasn't around that area. We get dropped off at the airport and go sit in our area and see that the plane is delayed 20 minutes. No big deal. But then she comes over the loudspeaker that the airport had been shut down due to the weather so all flights in & out were behind schedule & that our plane from AZ wasn't going to be in until 6:30 - putting us an hour & a half behind schedule. Bleah - but what can you do??

We finally see the plane come in and people getting off and...end up getting behind another half hour because one of the stewardesses that was supposed to be on with us was on a plane that hadn't came in yet either so they had to hunt around for another one.

We were supposed to have arrived at 7:15pm but didn't land until 8:30. Go down to wait for our luggage forever and The Man's never comes out. Fuck. It has both of our stuff in it, but luckily, just clothes. So we we head over to the guy and he keys in the luggage number and he sees it has a flag on it. *Ahem* It got left behind and they put it on the next flight over that was supposed to land at 11pm. UGH. They are going to deliver it today before noon at my cousin's house (they won't deliver to my house - it's in a different county) and I will pick it up tomorrow after work on my way home.

OK. Got all that? So, we head to the car and I see this note-looking thing on my car and freak out that someone has hit it. LOL - just an advertisement piece. Load it all up and head to the gate. The lady is doesn't acknowledge us. The Man greets her and she slowly turns around, and in a Quaalude induced type of state, says "Ah - hello". *rolls eyes* The Man hands her a credit card and she asks if we have another one. Huh? It's a brand new card with plenty of credit still on it, but whatever. He hands her the bank card. Same thing. Mike looks at her and asks if she's sure her card thing is working because BOTH of those cards have plenty of money. The whole time she is moving as slow as molasses on a winter day & I'm already feeling bad for the people who are behind us because, really, how long does it usually take to get thru the gates?? Less than 2 minutes! So, she calls the neighboring stall and asks if she can run this credit card because hers doesn't seem to be working and, oh my goodness, it clears!!! She still takes forever to print it out and hand it over to The Man for his signature. The Man then says it is NOT our night. I tell him to keep his mouth shut, we're almost 2hrs from home yet, lol.

Oh - the SHITTY part about the whole night tho??? Let's recap, shall we?
  • Flight delayed because of weather
  • Flight further delayed because of missing flight attendant
  • Flying absolutely sober for the first time ever
  • Home bound even further delayed because you're waiting for a piece of fucking luggage that isn't even there
  • Parking gate attendant is slower than a constipated 4 month old trying to take a shit
  • Parking gate attendant's card machine doesn't work

Paying $90 in parking fees!!! Priceless!

Holy shit. Wasn't expecting that one. That's $22.50 a day people. *chokes*

One the way home, we kept finding mosquito bites from the wedding night (we all got eaten alive) and I counted 12 on me. The Man has about 12 on each knee - they look REALLY distorted, lol. We finally crawled in bed around 11:30. The Man got up at 4am and went to work. He gets to leave a little early today tho because of a Drs appt.

My day will be spent investigating why a $500 deposit bounced & cost me $12. Laundry was planned, but all the dirty clothes are in The Man's bag so there isn't any. Unloading my luggage bag. Pictures.

Despite the night, we had a great time and would do it all over again. It was just challenging to get home, lol.

OK - I'm gonna download those pictures now!!