Monday, August 4, 2008


So. This is my story about our time with PC & Vixen.

When we were on our way to baggage claim, we were kidnapped and made to go thru Del Taco and forced to eat yummy food. It was really a traumatic experience, let me tell you! Vixen ripped open the green burrito wrapper and smashed it down my throat yelling, "Eat that, bitch!" and I had to swallow big chunks of food without chewing it properly. This caused my throat to swell and I could hardly talk. I think my larynx is permanently least that is what my Dr told me.

They engaged the childproof system on the rear doors so we couldn't escape, because, believe me - I would have jumped out if I could even with the car going. I've done it before!

But anyway, they took us to their house and forced us to drink some beers with them. They were treating us nice and all, like family. The kids were all over us and laughing and wanting to hang out with us but then they had to go to bed. PC & Vixen made us stay up really late and then dragged us to the spare room where they threw us, and all of our shit, into and then locked the door! We had no choice but to go to bed. I didn't know whether to cry or not - I was just so confused but decided to snuggle down into the comfy bed and sleep bundled up in blankies, watching TV while I fell asleep. All nice and cool too.

In the morning, they banged on the door and demanded for us to come out. Vixen made some breakfast - I think it was like dogfood and chicken feed mixed up, I couldn't tell. Oh wait, I remember now. It was bacon and eggs. I can't tell sometimes.

Then they told us to go to the rehearsal with them. I bet if Vixen could have put a collar around my neck, she would have. She's so mean and told me where to walk and with what guy. I felt really uncomfortable with him too. Because you know that one incident that happened to me while I was in India - do you all remember that? I was really terrified. With my scarred larynx and all, I couldn't call for help so I just did what I was told because I was afraid. I don't think all the other people around us could have helped me. I'm not sure why, but I'm sure I can come up with something later. I'm good at that.

Then, she forced me to pick a room. Even tho I got first dibs, I'm positive it's out of maliciousness, but like I said, I couldn't do anything but what she wanted. So I smiled and laughed and accepted the room she had paid for.

Friday night we went to dinner. I didn't have a choice to go or not. I mean, there was food in the house and all and I could have stayed home, but they forced me to go and what was I to do!!?? We went and I met a bunch of family. I looked at the menu and found the most expensive food and drink on it and ordered it. What did I care - I wasn't paying for it?! Dinner was awesome & everyone else...wait, what's the word?...thanked (?) PC & Vixen. I'm not sure why though.

The wedding day was somewhat the same - me following her around and doing whatever she demanded. She asked me my opinions but still, I had no choice. She paid for everything! The ceremony was filled with all of their friends and I felt like an outcast even tho everyone treated me really nice & friendly. I think they did anyway...I'm not sure yet. Depending on who asks me later, I'll decide which it is. OK? OK.

Anyway - the weekend was fun and all. I had a great time there and they paid for everything and treated us awesomely but I still feel...I dunno. Like we were pets or something. Do you understand what I mean? Don't you think so too? I mean, after reading all that I wrote?

Awww...lookee all the little birdies! Reality bites those that lie about it. Obviously, this only makes sense to a few people. It's a little wedding present I promised her. The truth of the matter is that we had an awesome time, like normal people. It was great meeting and hanging out and getting drunk with Os and the rest of their friends. I miss them all already. I can't really post a lot of pix because there are faces of people who did not consent - you will have to see most of them on her site when she puts them up.

You don't understand how HOT it was when we were trying to do this. The power went off at the B&B earlier and the A/C never had a chance to catch up. I swear it was over 110 in here!
The Man has no shame. Yes, he is 'smackin' dat ass' there. And yes, his shirt is part of the plan. I'm not married to gigolo. I swear!



I Smile 2 Much said...

Omyfreakinhell- ya'll are a riot. I frickin LUV it.

But yall are 2 damn sexy*beautiful~ now seriously knock it off ; )

Just kiddin~ yall can keep bein hotties! I luv yas like that!

*muah* U silly*fun rockin girly ; )

Nice, I mean, man of yours ya got ; ) lmao

Luv it! And luv these pix!

Dogfood & chicken feed huh?


Vixen said...

I am laughing so fucking hard I am like crying.


The birdee pic is my favorite. You rock so hard and damnit I miss you. *sigh*


Lolita said...

Pffft!!! You think YOU had it bad? She locked me in the new chicken coup and forgot about me which is WHY I didn't make it to the wedding and see you guys. Ugh. Nothing like being treated so inhumane huh?

Fucking LOVE the update! I'm glad you guys had a kick ass time!

Osbasso said...

Boy, I'm glad I didn't show up early...

I am a little concerned about the fifth appendage in the birdie pic. Is there something that one of you isn't telling??

Mike Y said...

Too damn funny! I'm just abusive like that, huh? Sorry for the inconvenience. Please come back so I can abuse you further.

Anonymous said...

excellent pics
looks like fun!
everyone looks excellent.